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No.22060
What then happens, when you allow yourself to accept such reassurance, or take such attempt at reassurance as reassurance itself? You do indeed reassure yourself. But not in what you claim that you seek, but in what is the subject of reassurance you accept. If the subject or reassurance is the same thing as that which you claim you seek, all is well, but if not, you get carried away from your claimed path and miss the target. You think one thing advantageous, but do another. And so you are very unhappy. You deceive, betray yourself. You are being evil to yourself. And you pay for it justly and rightly.
The next step, then, is to inquire whether you seek the same thing as those reassuring you or not. It is impossible. If I seek being stronger than appearances, I do not know the path all the way down. If somebody would show by his example how she is stronger, that would be clear. But what another such seeking person as I would be, that is beyond me, and in this I am helpless.
Since you do not know and can not comprehend their intentions, you ought not to seek any answers in them, but in yourself. Is the subject of the reassurance you accept the same as what you claim you seek? What do you do? Like a dog you come and beg them to pity you. And they do. And they are right in this. They do good. Then, if you truly seek to be pitied, you will find them kind and reassuring, but if you seek to become stronger, you will take that as an insult. If then you wouldn't be pitied, do not come begging them, do not commit this evil to yourself. But if you would, forget the idea of becoming stronger altogether, throw it away and go enjoying your pity and your misery, do not pretend that you try to be something, because you don't.
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